how else do i express my lack of connection to this world?– joe, on smoking.
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp; Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live. Dorothy Parker
draw a picture of harry potter’s wand, if you get my drift.– brother, through a computorized voice as i was drawing pictures of harry potter for a project.
10-28: loud and clear.
myguy and i were talking today and he was telling me about the Military Alphabet Code (there may have been a slight disagreement about zebra v. zulu). it got me thinking about military terms.. apparently SNAFU does not mean what i always thought. which was “Situation Normal [and now is] All Fracked Up,” rather it means “Situation Normal: All Fracked Up.” i.e. the regular...
moths just do not understand personal space.– brother.
my dad’s family enjoys email surveys, my little sister did this one where you had to answer with one word. she’s ten, and i’m convinced one of the funniest/smartest people around. here are the highlights.. 1. Where is your cell phone? hand 2.. Your significant other? nowhere 5. Your father? spectacular (i wonder if my father was overseeing..hm?) 6. Your favorite thing? traveling...
i wonder which of these words he learned in class.
me: i wish there was someone to ask about what's going on [his SAT prep class instructor was not there to unlock the door of the building]
brother: i could ask one of my class mates, we've gotten really close.. forged some amazing bonds.
me: o yea..?
brother: NO THIS IS SAT CLASS NOT A PAJAMA JAMMY JAM!
lionel’s an idiot savant, were not entirely sure what his [special] talent...– i found this quote in an email from 2006, i have no idea where it came from, but it’s still funny! it seems to be from the movie “When Do We Eat?”
inside the actors studio.
What is your favorite word? “dig” as in, “i dig it” What is your least favorite word? “stupid,” never nice, always mean. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? thoughtfulness, humor. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? ignorance, arrogance, [unwarranted] pretension. What sound or noise do you love? the noise...
Inko's Healthy White Ice Tea
today i travelled to my local organic supermarket with my mama and brother to pick up some things- sushi, tukey meatballs, dates, and tamari almonds. the sushi took a long time and by the time i had purchased it my mother was sitting outside eating seafood salad and sipping on Inko’s unsweetend white honeysuckle tea. go out and buy it. it is pure brewed tea, no sugar. no scary...
i feel the tumblr community will never truly accept me, for these reasons: i don’t own an iphone. i refuse to live in brooklyn. i don’t like vintage. i don’t have an etsy account. though i probably should. also, i don’t think reblogging someone else’s post is a blogpost.
sissy: ugh, i think lamaze class would make me vomit.
me: from the other people, right?
me: ugh, i hate other people.
phil collins lost 42 million dollars to his 3rd wife. he’ll have to record...– myguy
i love the way tennie sounds, the way tennie laughs.. the way tennie looks, the...– myguy trying to subtly convince me to make him dinner.
why society is going down hill, part one.
Heidi starts going off about being a Christian and leading a Christian life and how Spencer just wants to marry her so he can have sex with her because she is saving herself for marriage and Spencer is saving himself for some cute boy from West Hollywood. No, not really. As far as you know. Anyway, in the world that is Heidi and Spencer, they sleep together every night, in the same bed, and...
i laughed so hard i had to hang up.
me: i wish i could make you laugh more.
myguy: you make me laugh.. you make me laugh..
me: no, i wish i could more.
myguy: (to self, laughing) tennie fall down. tennie fall down..
the who? ..not 'tho who'
can someone explain the jonas brothers to me? who are they? where are they from? (not literally, they are from wyckoff new jersey, more figuratively.. like who the frack made them famous?) it’s like i went to bed one night and the world was a beautiful place and i woke up the next morning and these three curly hairded evangelical christians are reigning supreme. next to princess miley of...
men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.
i keep wanting to go be productive. do the dishes, clean a shelf. something. but- i. am. so. tired. instead my goal of the day is not to wear my contacts. my eye doctor says every two weeks i should have one day without contacts. its easier at home than it is in the city. but its still hard. because since i got contacts i hate hate hate going in public in glasses, especially because my cute...
the odds are good, but the goods are odd– my “cousin” (cousin’s cousin) jamie- she’s a smart lady.
maybe you should have cracked the books a little more, instead of huffing paint...– MyGuy, on some dude who got nasty to me when he found out i went to a private college.
you can always count on little brothers to initiate an awkward moment. for example: 1998: christmas, “i never forget a pussy.. cat that is” (writing credit goes to Mike Meyers, from “Austin Powers”). 2001: thanksgiving, when asked what he was grateful for- “i’m glad i’m not a slave to some chinese bitch.” 2008: grandmother’s birthday,...
it’s like most of the regular people i know are normal!– my aunt, fascinated!
sometimes a diet is the best defense-lucielle...
sister and i have been taking, at the recommendation of our beloved grandmama, a certain vitamin- KLVB-6. a year or so ago sissy, grandmama and i were really into vitamins, i had a whole regiment- a multi-vitamin (centrum?), a codliver oil pill, a flax seed pill, vitamin C, E and a few more. i was content with this lifestyle, i really enjoyed it. and then one night, when i was still living...
post birthday wrap up.
before my birthday i had a small wish list of things i wanted.. remember? erika tote from lesportsac a longchamps le pliage, preferably with the initials “GBD” on the leather. trench coat. a new new battery for my mac. my perfume, YSL Young Sexy Lovely- only available at Sephora. a black pencil skirt. a beautiful brown/tan leather bag. these were the pieces i deemed entirely necessary...
if you'll follow me, i can seat you..
i am a true, 100% believer in the golden rule. i believe how you’d like others to treat you is how you should treat others. i believe that the way you treat others reflects what you believe you deserve. i believe this applies to all people. in these terms, those people who work in the service industry. as of this summer. i am one of those people. the straight fact is i know who i am- i am...
i've been watching moonstruck again..
Ronny Cammareri: You're gonna marry my brother? Why you wanna sell your life short? Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do. You waited for the right man the first time, why didn't you wait for the right man again?
Loretta Castorini: He didn't come!
Ronny Cammareri: I'm here!
Loretta Castorini: You're late!